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Marriage Is to Be Honored Hebrews 13:4; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
(Hebrews 13:4 NIV) Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
“Grow Old Along with Me” Mary Chapin Carpenter Grow Old Along With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be When Our Time Has Come, We Will Be As One God Bless Our Love, God Bless Our Love
Grow Old Along With Me, Two Branches Of One Tree Face The Setting Sun, When The Day Is Done God Bless Our Love, God Bless Our Love
Grow Old Along With Me, Whatever Fate Decrees We Will See It Through, For Our Love Is True God Bless Our Love, God Bless Our Love.
The erosion of marriage is a constant refrain in political debate and a legitimate concern for society in general.
In God’s eyes, marriage is honorable. He established it at creation and has honored it ever since. In much of the world today, of course, marriage is anything but honored. A great many couples who marry do so as a temporary convenience, not as a social, much less a divine, requirement for their living together.
Marriage and sexual fidelity are matters of honor Under relentless attack from every direction especially the Media portrayal of family on TV and in the movies and in magazines. Pro Gay Agenda & Anti Bible believer bias in media – hicks, idiots, hateful…cheapening of sexual intimacy; reality TV sleaze shows – auction off a bride or groom…government policy – marriage tax penalty, welfare rules…academic social evolutionary humanists – marriage is passé, out of date, no longer valid – we’ve evolved past needing it…
For us, however, as Christians, this is not a matter of mere tolerance or benign approval of an institution, but a commitment to honor!
Marriage can be held in honor in many ways.
The concern of both husband and wife should center on the welfare and happiness of the other, on what can be given rather than on what can be obtained.
In its context Let marriage he held in honor among all may have been a reaction to certain ascetic influences in the early church that held celibacy to be a holier state than marriage.
Paul warns that in the last days apostate teachers will “forbid marriage” (1 Tim. 4:3). But God holds marriage not only to be permissible, but honorable, and we are to have the same high regard for it.
God honored marriage by establishing it. Jesus honored marriage by performing His first miracle at a wedding. The Holy Spirit honored marriage by using it to picture the church in the New Testament. The whole Trinity testifies that marriage is honorable. No person, therefore, is justified in disparaging marriage.
Hebrews 13 begins with strong counsel to each of us in regard to our relationships, and certainly the home is the first place where Christian love should be practiced (Heb. 13:4). A Christian home begins with a Christian marriage in the will of God. This means loyalty and purity.
Sex outside of marriage is sinful and destructive. Sex within the protective bonds of marriage can be enriching and glorifying to God. Fornication is committed by unmarried persons and adultery by married persons.
How does God judge fornicators and adulterers? Sometimes they are judged in their own bodies (Rom. 1:24-27). Certainly they will be judged at the final judgment (Rev. 21:8; 22:15). Believers who commit these sins certainly may be forgiven (1 Cor. 6:9ff).
In these days, when sexual sins are paraded as entertainment in movies and on television, the church needs to take a stand for the purity of the marriage bond. A dedicated Christian home is the nearest thing to heaven on earth, and it starts with a Christian marriage.
There is purity. First, the marriage bond is to be universally respected. This may mean either of two almost opposite things.
(a) There were ascetics who despised marriage. Some even went the length of castrating themselves to secure what they thought was purity. Origen took that course. Even a heathen like Galen, the physician, noted of the Christians that "they include men and women who refrain from cohabiting all their lives." The writer to the Hebrews insists against these ascetics that the marriage bond is to be honored and not despised. (b) There were those who were ever liable to relapse into immorality. The writer to the Hebrews uses two words. The one denotes adulterous living; the other denotes all kinds of impurity, such as unnatural vice. Into the world the Christians brought a new ideal of purity. Even the heathen admitted that. Galen, in the passage we have already quoted, goes on: "And they also number individuals who, in ruling and controlling themselves and in their keen pursuit of virtue, have attained a pitch not inferior to that of real philosophers."
When Plinly, the governor of Bithynia, examined the Christians and reported back to Trajan, the Emperor, he had to admit, even although he was looking for a charge on which to condemn them, that at their Lord's Day meeting: "They bound themselves by an oath not for any criminal end but to avoid theft or robbery or adultery, never to break their word nor repudiate a deposit when called upon to refund it."
In the early days the Christians presented such a purity to the world that not even their critics and their enemies could find a fault in it.
Scripture gives at least three reasons for marriage. 1. One is the propagation of children. At creation, mankind was commissioned to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28).
2. Marriage is also provided as a means of preventing sexual sin. “Because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2), Paul advises, and then goes on to counsel the unmarried and widows to marry if they do not have self-control (vv. 8-9). 3. Marriage is also provided for companionship. “God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him’” (Gen. 2:18).
Bottom line, this is a call for us to take seriously what God has to say:
(1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 NIV) Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. {2} For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. {3} It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; {4} that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, {5} not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; {6} and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. {7} For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. {8} Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
ABSTAINING FROM SEXUAL SIN (4:3–8) Since the 1960s, when the modern sexual revolution really accelerated, Western society has had fewer and fewer rules governing sexual attitudes and behaviors. Freedom of sexual expression has in many ways become the cultural god that rules over all the other idolatrous gods of postmodern culture. People want the right, for themselves and others, to express their sexual desires at any cost, even if that means aborting the unwanted child resulting from a sexual union or risking a sexually transmitted disease.
Several obvious tenets constitute the world’s immoral, unscriptural outlook regarding sex. 1. First, people are basically good and all but the most heinous activities should be tolerated. Therefore, virtually any kind of consensual sexual activity is good (except for child molestation), especially if one views sex as merely a way to personal gratification.
2. Second, since sexual activity is only a biological function (cf. 1 Cor. 6:13), it is normal and necessary to engage in it without placing on it any moral restrictions.
3. Third, since “casual” sex is just another form of fun and pleasure, it is permissible to enjoy sexual activity recreationally, any time with any consenting partner.
4. Fourth, fulfilling one’s sexual desire is a major goal in life, more important than developing meaningful personal relationships.
5. Fifth, instant gratification is more important than delayed satisfaction. Therefore, having premarital sex is legitimate and preferable to waiting until marriage to have sex.
6. Sixth, enjoyable sexual intercourse is the most important factor in establishing a good marital relationship. Therefore, the early stage of every romantic relationship should include sex. The couple should live together to determine sexual compatibility and fulfillment before they marry. Christians understand that those are the dogmas of society’s permissive sexual outlook. The apostle Paul could have recognized the same tendencies in his day because, if anything, the utterly pagan Greco-Roman culture he ministered in was more sexually perverse and debauched than contemporary Western culture.
Thessalonica was part of that debased Greco-Roman culture. The city was rife with such sinful practices as fornication, adultery, homosexuality (including pedophilia), transvestism (men dressing like women), and a wide variety of pornographic and erotic perversions, all done with a seared conscience and society’s acceptance, hence with little or no accompanying shame or guilt.
Unlike people in Western nations today, the Thessalonians grew up with no Christian tradition to support laws and standards that forbid the grosser manifestations of immorality. Pagan Greek society apparently did not have civil laws to prohibit immoral behavior.
Further contributing to the sexually permissive environment in Thessalonica was the influence of the mystery religions that advocated ritual prostitution. They taught that if a follower engaged with a temple prostitute, he would be communing transcendentally with the deity the prostitute represented. For example, the Temple of Aphrodite on the Corinthian acropolis employed one thousand priestesses who were essentially religious prostitutes. Thus people did not consider fornication and adultery illegal or immoral; the idolatrous religions actually condoned them.
For the Thessalonians, then, sexual sin was more customary and more tolerated than it is even by today’s standards. That reality provides a clearer perspective of Paul’s ministry at Thessalonica.
When he, Silas, and Timothy planted the church there, they rescued people out of that pornographic society. Many of those new converts, who had lived in immorality, no doubt had mistresses, and many of the women likely engaged in harlotry.
Their rather sudden entrance into the kingdom of God required the Thessalonians to break with their pagan background. That requirement presented them with strong challenges—old habits and the pressures from a wicked culture would seek to draw them away from their new life and back to the old. Paul, as their minister, was concerned enough to begin the exhortation portion of this epistle with commands regarding immoral conduct.
What Kind of Sexual Conduct Does God Require? The will of God for Christians concerning proper sexual behavior is quite clear, namely, that they abstain from sexual immorality. But before mentioning specifics, Paul defined the will of God under the broad governing principle of sanctification (hagiosmos), which is the process of being separated from sin and set apart to God’s holiness (Ps. 4:3; Jer. 1:5; John 17:17, 19; Acts 20:32; 26:18; Rom. 6:22; 15:16; 1 Cor. 6:11; Eph. 5:26–27; 2 Tim. 2:21; Heb. 2:11; 10:10; 13:12; cf. 2 Cor. 6:17; Eph. 5:7–9; Phil. 2:12–13).
God wants believers to separate from all that is evil, fleshly, and impure. The sanctification process is the direct result of salvation, as Paul instructed the Corinthians: “Such [sexually immoral] were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor. 6:11; cf. 1:2, 30; Acts 20:32; 26:18; 2 Thess. 2:13; Heb. 2:11; 10:14; 1 Peter 1:2).
The apostle’s reference to sanctification points back to one of the requests he had just prayed for the Thessalonians: “that He may establish your hearts without blame in holiness before our God and Father” (1 Thess. 3:13).
In view of the permissive culture in Thessalonica, Paul considered abstention from sexual immorality to be the first priority in the Thessalonians’ devotion to sanctification. Any sexual activity that deviates from the monogamous relationship between a husband and a wife is immoral by God’s standard.
Scripture makes it clear that people who habitually engage in sexual immorality thereby demonstrate that they are not Christians: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor. 6:9–10; cf. Gal. 5:19–21; Rev. 21:8; 22:15).
But that same chapter of 1 Corinthians also indicates that believers can sometimes commit sexual sins: Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. (6:15–20)
How Can a Believer Be Sexually Moral? Paul gave them three timeless principles for maintaining sexual morality: the body should not control the believer; the believer should not act like the unbeliever; and the believer should not take advantage of others.
THE BODY SHOULD NOT CONTROL THE BELIEVER Believers must maintain self-control over the desires of their flesh. Hence Paul exhorted the Thessalonians that each of them had to know how to control their body’s appetites. Each believer had the same personal responsibility to control his body.
Know is from oida, which carries the idea of having the knowledge or skill necessary to accomplish a desired goal. Every Christian needs to know himself well, so as to understand his weaknesses and evil propensities and, thereby, know how to possess (“gain mastery over”) his own vessel.
As in today’s culture, the culture of Paul’s day
operated largely according to
Food is for the stomach and the stomach is
for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for
immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body … Do you not know
that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of
Christ and make them members of a
The statement regarding “food” and “the stomach”
was likely a proverbial saying
Apparently some of the Corinthians used that analogy to justify their sexual immorality. But sexual sin is not a servant; it is a powerful master. Therefore, the apostle warned the Corinthians, as he had the Thessalonians, that believers must not allow that sin to control them. Instead, all Christians must know the importance of disciplining their bodies so they will honor God (cf. 1 Cor. 9:27).
In several of his other letters, the apostle
Paul made it crystal clear that in order to control their bodies believers must
rely on the Holy Spirit. “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the
desire of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16). The key to walking in the Spirit is being
filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:17–18), and the key to being filled with the
Spirit is for believers to let God’s Word dwell within them (Col. 3:16; cf. Pss.
19:7–11; 119:11, 105). They must sincerely read, study, and apply Scripture so
that it saturates their lives and allows them to yield complete control to the
Holy Spirit (Deut. 6:7; Pss. 1:2; 119:97; John 5:39; Acts 17:11; 20:32; Rom.
15:4; 1 Peter 2:2; 2 Peter 1:19; cf. Isa. 30:20–21; Ezek. 36:27; John
Along those lines, Paul urged the Thessalonians
to control their bodies for the
THE BELIEVER SHOULD NOT ACT LIKE THE UNBELIEVER More than just consequence, God will extract justice. Powerfully frank language about how strongly God feels about this.
The second principle Paul gave the Thessalonians concerning how to maintain sexual purity and abstain from immorality was that they were not to behave like their pagan neighbors or relatives, who did not know God—that is, were not transformed by the divine work of salvation. Scripture often designates those outside salvation in this way (cf. Judg. 2:10; Ps. 79:6; Isa. 45:4–5; Jer. 9:3; 10:25; Acts 17:23; Rom. 1:28; 1 Cor. 1:21; 15:34; Gal. 4:8; 2 Thess. 1:8).
The uncontrolled desire for sexual gratification, which is typical of unregenerate people (Rom. 1:24–27; 1 Cor. 5:9–11; Gal. 5:19–21; Eph. 5:3–5; Col. 3:5–7; 1 Peter 4:1–4; cf. 2 Tim. 3:1–7; 2 Peter 2:12–14; Jude 17–19), was not to be true of the Thessalonians or any other true believer (cf. 1 Thess. 3:13).
Christians, however, cannot any longer live in the same unwholesome patterns of sin that the godless people (in this context the Gentiles) do. The apostle instructed the Galatians: “Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:24; cf. Col. 3:5–10). Unregenerate people practice, as a way of life, all sorts of sexual immorality (cf. Rom. 1:24–28); but God has delivered the regenerate from such habitual sinning (cf. 1 John 3:9–10). But believers can cultivate immoral thoughts and commit immoral acts—so they need this instruction.
Christians must not lower themselves to a level of pagan sexual behavior determined merely by unthinking passions and uncontrolled fleshly urges. Because of their intimate relationship with a holy God, believers must not subject themselves to an ungodly society’s vast array of sexually immoral temptations (cf. 2 Tim. 2:22; 1 John 2:15–16).
Overexposure to such temptations will only lower
one’s resistance and diminish one’s outrage, thus weakening spiritual resolve
and virtue. Scripture warns God’s children to stay far away from, even to flee,
all immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). Lustful thoughts and feelings can lead believers
to actions that are completely incongruous with their position in the
THE BELIEVER SHOULD NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS A third practical, unambiguous principle emerges from the apostle Paul’s admonition to the Thessalonians on sexual morality: They should never sexually take advantage of other believers. The word rendered transgress means “to sin against,” which includes the concept of stepping over the line and exceeding the lawful limits. In some modern Scripture translations, such as the New King James Version and the New International Version, the translators provide further insight by rendering transgress, “take advantage of.”
Paul warns that a believer should not take such advantage described so as to defraud his brother in the matter. Defraud means to selfishly, greedily take something for personal gain and pleasure at someone else’s expense. As is true with transgress, the definition of defraud includes the notion of taking advantage of someone, and in this context it concerns the matter of sexual sin. Whenever believers seek to satisfy their physical desires and gain sexual pleasure at the expense of another believer, they have violated this command.
God considers this subject of sinfully taking advantage of another believer so serious that Jesus warned, Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! (Matt. 18:6–7)
Those Christians who cause other Christians
(“little ones”) to stumble (sin) would be better off drowned. One expects the
world to offend believers and sometimes cause them to sin, but believers should
never be stumbling blocks for fellow believers (cf. Matt. 5:23–24; Rom. 14:13; 1
Cor. 10:32–33; Col. 2:18). The seriousness of Christ’s admonition to believers in Matthew 18:6 has no equal in all His teaching. He said that a believer who defrauds another believer deserves to be killed! So Christians must take heed to their own holiness, avoid all ungodly influences, and never use other people, especially fellow believers, to achieve sinful gratification.
Why Should a Believer Be Sexually Moral?
The apostle Paul, through the inspiration of the
Holy Spirit, anticipated his
BECAUSE OF GOD’S VENGEANCE The first compelling motive Paul gave the Thessalonians for obeying his command to abstain from sexual immorality is because the Lord is the avenger in all these things. Only God has the right to exact vengeance for the sins people commit: “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Rom. 12:19; cf. Deut. 32:35). He is the one who metes out judgment, and sexual sin is one of the specific reasons He does so: “The marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4).
If a believer engages in sexual immorality, God
the avenger may judge all these things by allowing one or more of
several consequences to affect that believer’s life. For example, the outcome
could be a severely damaged marriage, accompanied by loss of family love and
respect; the sin could lead to a divorce (Matt. 5:32; 19:9); God may chasten the
person by allowing him or her to be afflicted with venereal disease or some
other physical affliction; or the sin could result in the absence of blessing,
the presence of a greater than average number of trials and troubles, or even an
untimely death (cf. 1 Cor. 10:8). Sexual sin by a believer will certainly result
to some degree in the loss of eternal reward (cf.
The concept of God’s judgment against sexual immorality was not new to the Thessalonians. Paul reminded them that he also told them about it before and solemnly warned them. That he solemnly warned them about these matters shows that the apostle taught them “the whole purpose of God” (Acts 20:27). He had done a thorough job of evangelizing the Thessalonians, imparting to them not only a complete understanding of the gospel, but also what it means to observe all the commands of Christ (cf. Matt. 28:18–20).
BECAUSE OF GOD’S PURPOSE That Christians should strive to be sexually moral is in complete accord with God’s general plan for their lives. Therefore, a second reason Paul gave for abstaining from sexual immorality was because that command fit God’s purpose for the Thessalonians. For the third time in this passage, Paul used a form of the word sanctification, which emphasized to them that when God effectually called them to salvation, He also called them to holiness. A life of impurity was inconsistent with believers’ high calling (Eph. 4:1).
The phrase in sanctification indicates
that the believer’s position of holiness is the direct result of God’s effectual
call. God’s purpose in salvation was to produce a holy people who would
walk worthy of the divine call into His kingdom and glory (cf. Eph. 4:1; 1 Thess.
2:12). The call to salvation is inseparable from the call to holy and pure
living. Ephesians 2:8–10 says: For by grace you have been saved through
faith; and that not
Paul was intent on presenting the church at Thessalonica and the church everywhere as a bride “having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing” (Eph. 5:27), but as one set apart and pure before God. Therefore sexual sin is utterly inconsistent with God’s present and ultimate purpose for believers.
BECAUSE OF GOD’S HOLY SPIRIT The final reason for the Thessalonians to obey Paul’s admonition was that their disobeying it would mean they were rejecting God’s Holy Spirit. Any believer who rejects (“nullifies, makes void, cancels, disregards, despises”) the command to abstain from sexual immorality is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit. Thus if the Thessalonians disobeyed Paul’s words, they would not merely be rejecting him, the church elders, or some faction in the church, but the Spirit of God. The standard of sexual morality is God’s, and He gave believers the Holy Spirit to enable them to keep that norm (cf. Ezek. 36:27; John 14:16–17; Rom. 8:9; Gal. 5:16; 1 John 3:24; 4:13).
The Greek verb gives denotes timelessness. Paul told the Thessalonians that God gives believers the timeless gift of His Holy Spirit (cf. Isa. 59:21; 2 Cor. 1:22; Eph. 1:13–14; 2 Tim. 1:14) so that they might live pure and holy lives (cf. 1 Cor. 6:19–20; Rom. 8:16; 2 Cor. 5:5; 1 John 2:27). If they understood that precise identification of God’s Spirit, it should have been unthinkable for the Thessalonians to enter into sexual sin and thereby reject the Lord who gave them the Spirit.
The practice of sexual sin violates the work of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It spurns the Lord’s will, disregards His purposes, defies His commands, rejects His love, and flouts and abuses His grace. Perhaps most frightening and sobering of all, those who engage in sexual immorality discount the reality of God’s righteous judgment against sin. Thus the apostle’s exhortation to the Thessalonians ought to prompt all believers to faithfully heed these words and diligently use the means God has given them to abstain from all forms of sexual sin (Rom. 13:13–14; 1 Peter 2:11).
If Tomorrow Never Comes If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would know I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day; well, I'm sure you'll have so many more so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you's," and certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget; Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike; and today may be the last chance to get to hold your loved one tight... So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely
regret the day, and you were too busy to grant someone what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear; tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. -- Author Unknown |
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