A study of Romans: The Righteousness of God

#22 The Believer and Other Believers, 12:9-21

(Romans 12:9-13 NIV) "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. {10} Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. {11} Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. {12} Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. {13} Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality."

(12:9-13) Introduction: How should the believer relate to other believers? How should he treat believers and behave toward them? This subject is of vital concern to Christ.

1. Love sincerely—without hypocrisy (v.9-10).

2. Serve the Lord (v.11).

3. Conquer trials (v.12).

4. Meet needs unselfishly (v.13).

(12:9-10) Brotherhood—Love: the believer is to love sincerely without hypocrisy. The word "dissimilation" (anupokritos) means without hypocrisy, without play-acting. It means that a person does not just say "I love you," but he actually loves. He sincerely loves; he honestly and truthfully loves. The love being spoken about is love for all men and not only for believers. The believer must never pretend, be hypocritical, play-act, or have an ulterior motive when dealing with others. He must show love and respect, interest and attention, care and concern; but he must not show it from an impure motive:

The believer must love others with a pure and sincere love, being completely free of selfish motives. He must love others for themselves because they are fellow human beings who have the same emotional and spiritual needs which he has, needs which can only find their fulfillment in Christ. He must love them because God loves them and because they desperately need to know that Jesus Christ has come to earth to reveal God’s love to all men. The believer’s dealings with all men must be in love: a sincere love, a love without hypocrisy and double-dealing.

There are four very practical ways the believer is to demonstrate his love for other men. Remember that the love being commanded is love for all men, for the lost as well as for other believers.

1. The believer is to love by hating evil. The word "abhor" (apostugountes) is strong, very strong. It means to hate with intense feeling, to loathe, to look upon with horror. Love desires the very best for people; therefore, love hates evil, for evil destroys human life. The believer stands against evil, doing all he can to fight...

The list could go on and on. The point is that the believer must love, and he shows his love by hating and fighting against that which is evil.

2. The believer is to love by cleaving to that which is good. The word "cleave" (kollomenoi) means to join or fasten together, to attach, to cement or glue together. The believer is to desire only the very best—all the good possible—for people. He is to cleave to the good and to work for everyone to know and experience the good. The believer shows that he truly loves people by holding fast and working for the good.

3. The believer is to love by loving his brothers in Christ, by being kind and affectionate toward them. The word "affectionate" (philostorgoi) means the love existing between family members. This charge is dealing with the Christian family, the brothers and sisters within the church. We are to love each other by being kind and affectionate. We are a family of children who have actually been adopted by God as His sons and daughters (2 Cor. 6:17-18; Galatians 4:4-6; Romans 8:16-17). Therefore, the believer is to live as a family member with his brothers and sisters; he is to live being both kind and affectionate. Note: there is no dissension or divisiveness in love. The church is to live in love, and living in love is peace.

4. The believer is to love by giving preference to other believers. The word "honor" (time) means to reverence, respect, esteem. The word "preferring" (proegoumenoi) means to go before, to lead, to set an example. The charge is clear: the believer is to take the lead in esteeming and expressing respect for others. Imagine a church full of believers with each taking the lead in esteeming and honoring the other. What a picture of true love and care, of real warmth and tenderness, of great strength and manliness.

(12:11) Service—Ministry: the believer is to serve the Lord. The charge is twofold.

1. Do not lag in zeal; do not be slothful in business. The word "slothful" (okneros) means to be lazy, slow-moving, sluggish, lethargic, complacent, hesitating, delaying. The word "business" (spoude) means diligence, zeal, earnestness. The exhortation is clear: the believer must...

· not be lazy or slow-moving in zeal.

· not be sluggish or lethargic in diligence.

· not be hesitating or delaying in earnestness.

The believer just cannot approach life in a lackadaisical, easy-going, slow-moving fashion. The world is reeling in pain, with millions starving and suffering due to man’s selfishness and sin, hoarding, disease, war, death—and the list could go on and on. The believer must not give in to sluggishness and complacency. He must serve the Lord with all diligence and zeal and earnestness. He must be enthusiastic in his service.

2. Be fervent in spirit. The word "fervent" (zeo) means to be hot, to boil, to set aflame. The believer’s spirit is to be hot, that is, boiling and flaming for Christ. The believer must have a holy zeal for Christ. He must be aflame in his service for Christ. Why? The world is reeling under the weight of desperate need and dying without Christ and being doomed to an eternity separated from God.

3. Serve the Lord. The idea is that we are to be focusing upon the Lord in all we do. It is Him whom we serve. We live in order to serve Him; that is, our very purpose for being on earth is to minister for Him and His kingdom.

(12:12) Trials—Hope—Prayer: the believer is to conquer trials. While on earth the believer will face problems, difficulties, troubles, trials, tests, tribulations, traumas, ordeals, sufferings and pain. Nevertheless, the believer has an overcoming resource.

He can conquer the trials of life by doing three critical things.

1. The believer is to rejoice in hope. His hope is God—God’s presence, concern, and care. The believer knows that God will do one of two things: either remove the trial or deliver him through the trial. The believer knows he does not have to face trials alone, that no situation is hopeless. The believer is the eternal optimist: his hope is in the eternal God. Therefore, he not only hopes in the delivering power of God, he joys and rejoices in the hope God has given him.

2. The believer is to endure trials. The word "patient" (hupomenontes) means to endure, remain, persevere, abide, bear up bravely. The believer actually experiences a surge of fortitude from Christ when trials confront him.

3. The believer is to continue in prayer. The phrase "continuing instant" (proskartereo) means to give constant attention to; to be devoted and attentive to; to give unceasing care to; to wait stedfastly upon, to persevere. Very simply, the believer overcomes trials by giving constant attention to God and waiting upon His delivering power. The believer stays in constant communion with his Lord, depending upon Him to supply the strength to walk through the trials of daily living.

(12:13) Stewardship—Ministry: the believer is to meet the needs of people unselfishly. Two very simple demands are made of believers.

1. The believer is to give generously, to share with those in need. He is to "distribute" (koinoneo), that is, to give and share in order to meet their needs.

2. The believer is to be given to hospitality. He is to open the door of his home to believers who are in need.

Ž The elder must be given to hospitality.

"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach" (1 Tim. 3:2).

"But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate" (Titus 1:8).

Ž All believers must open their door—even to strangers in need.

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares" (Hebrews 13:2).

Ž All believers must use hospitality as a means to minister and use it without grumbling.

"Given to hospitality" (Romans 12:13).

"Use hospitality one to another without grudging" (1 Peter 4:9)

Ž Widows in particular are to use hospitality as a means to minister.

"Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work" (1 Tim. 5:10).

The Believer and Unbelievers, 12:14-21

(Romans 12:14-21 NIV) "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. {15} Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. {16} Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. {17} Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. {18} If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. {19} Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. {20} On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." {21} Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

The believer who seeks to obey God is going to have his enemies. When our Lord was ministering on earth, He had enemies. No matter where Paul and the other apostles traveled, there were enemies who opposed their work. Jesus warned His disciples that their worst enemies might be those of their own household (Matt. 10:36). Unfortunately, some believers have enemies because they lack love and patience, and not because they are faithful in their witness. There is a difference between sharing in "the offense of the cross" (Gal. 5:11; 6:12-15) and being an offensive Christian!

The Christian must not play God and try to avenge himself. Returning evil for evil, or good for good, is the way most people live. But the Christian must live on a higher level and return good for evil. Of course, this requires love, because our first inclination is to fight back. It also requires faith, believing that God can work and accomplish His will in our lives and in the lives of those who hurt us. We must give place to "the wrath"—the wrath of God (Deut. 32:35).

The admonition in Romans 12:20 reminds us of Christ’s words in Matthew 5:44-48. These words are easy to read but difficult to practice. Surely we need to pray and ask God for love as we try to show kindness to our enemies. Will they take advantage of us? Will they hate us more? Only the Lord knows. Our task is not to protect ourselves but to obey the Lord and leave the results with Him. Paul referred to Proverbs 25:21-22 as he urged us to return good for evil in the name of the Lord. The "coals of fire" refer perhaps to the feeling of shame our enemies will experience when we return good for evil.

As children of God, we must live on the highest level—returning good for evil. Anyone can return good for good and evil for evil. The only way to overcome evil is with good. If we return evil for evil, we only add fuel to the fire. And even if our enemy is not converted, we have still experienced the love of God in our own hearts and have grown in grace.

(12:14-21) Introduction: the believer is expected to conduct himself in the most noble fashion when dealing with the world of unbelievers. God expects His follower to control himself and to gain complete victory over his flesh. He expects the believer to give a strong testimony to the love of God, to demonstrate the love and forgiveness of God for all men.

1. Bless those who persecute you (v.14).

2. Show genuine interest in the experiences of men (v.15).

3. Seek harmony and associate with the lowly (v.16).

4. Live above reproach (v.17).

5. Live at peace with all (v.18).

6. Give no place to revenge (v.19-21).

(12:14) Persecution: the believer is to bless those who persecute him. The word "bless" (eulogeo) means to speak well of. Therefore, the believer is charged to do something that could be most difficult: to speak well of those who persecute him. Picture how difficult this is when you are verbally or physically attacked: mistreated, insulted, by-passed, overlooked, slandered, cursed, abused, injured. You are to bless the person who attacks you; you are to bless your persecutor whether he is your...

What does it mean to bless and to speak well of?

1. It means to speak well to our persecutors. We do not react against them by cursing, speaking harshly, or striking out at them. We do not try to hurt them either verbally or physically. On the contrary, we seek to find something that is commendable about them and we commend them for it.

2. It means to speak well about our persecutors. When speaking to others, we do not down the persecutor, but we mention some commendable trait. We praise some "good thing" about the person; we do not tear him down.

3. It means to pray for our persecutors. We must do as Jesus said and did.

Think of the impact upon persecutors when an attitude of love and blessing is demonstrated toward them. Every persecutor is not won to Christ, but every persecutor does have a strong witness, a strong witness that can be used by the Holy Spirit in the persecutor’s quiet and thoughtful moments. And some persecutors are won to Christ. This is what God is after.

4. It means to do good to our persecutors.

There has been no greater force to move men into Christianity than this serene forgiveness which the martyrs in every age have showed. Stephen died praying for forgiveness for those who stoned him to death (Acts 7:60). Among those who killed him was a young man named Saul, who afterwards became Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles and the slave of Christ. There can be no doubt that the death scene of Stephen was one of the things that turned Paul to Christ. As Augustine said: "The Church owes Paul to the prayer of Stephen." Many a persecutor has become a follower of the faith he once sought to destroy, because he has seen how a Christian can forgive.

(12:15) Service: the believer is to show genuine interest in the experiences of men. Two particular acts are mentioned.

1. We are to rejoice with them that rejoice. This does not mean that we are to participate in what the world calls its joyful moments and affairs, that is, in the partying affairs of the world. Far from it, God calls the believer to separation (2 Cor. 6:17-18). What it means is that we are to rejoice with our neighbors and friends and acquaintances when something good happens to them. We are to join them in their moment of joy:

Whatever the moment of joy is, we are to rejoice with them. However, this charge is not as easy as it sounds on the surface, for it often goes against the grain of human nature. Too often it is human nature...

· to envy a person’s success.

· to feel disappointment.

· to act indifferent.

Sometimes we have a difficult time in rejoicing over another person’s success. This is the reason for this charge to the believer. The believer is to feel and act differently than the world. The believer is to conquer his nature: he is to feel joy over the success of others and to show his joy by congratulating and joining them in their moment of joy.

Note that this is the very behavior of God. God rejoices in the prosperity of His people.

2. We are to weep with them that weep. This, of course, refers to our friends and fellow men who are facing some trial or loss, some moment of suffering. It may be some personal pain or business loss, some family hurt or sorrow or suffering. No matter what it is that causes the weeping, the Christian believer is to draw near the person and feel with him. The noteworthy trait of the believer is empathy, the fact that he is touched by the infirmities of men.

There are few bonds like that of a common sorrow. The bond of tears is the strongest of all. And yet it is much easier to weep with those who weep than it is to rejoice with those who rejoice. Long ago Chrysostom wrote on this passage: "It requires more of a high Christian temper to rejoice with them that do rejoice than to weep with them that weep. For this nature itself fulfils perfectly; and there is none so hard-hearted as not to weep over him that is in calamity; but the other requires a very noble soul, so as not only to keep from envying, but even to feel pleasure with the person who is in esteem." It is, indeed, more difficult to congratulate another on his success, especially if his success involves disappointment to us, than it is to sympathize with his sorrow and his loss. It is only when self is dead that we can take as much joy in the success of others as in our own.

(12:16) Unity—Brotherhood: the believer is to seek harmony and to associate with the lowly. Three very specific instructions are given.

1. The believer is to "be of the same mind" toward others. This refers primarily to our attitude and behavior toward others and their lot in life. The believer is to strive to get into the very mind of other men and to understand them. He is to strive to understand their lives:

Ž their person and being

Ž their lot and condition in life

Ž their status and position

Ž their needs and feelings

The believer is to understand the other person to such a degree that he can completely identify and feel with the person. It is to be said that the believer is "of the same mind" as the other person. Just think of the enormous impact such love and empathy would have upon the world in bringing peace and unity and in meeting the desperate needs of so many. How can the believer demonstrate such love and empathy? The next two points clearly answer the question.

2. The believer is not to mind high things, but to condescend to men of low estate. "High things" refers to seeking the things of preeminence, honor, prestige, and recognition. It means keeping one’s mind upon...

· high society

· high positions

· affluence

The believer is not to be snobbish, not to allow his mind to roam around in the high things of this world. On the contrary, he is to condescend to men of low estate. He is to look upon the poor and lowly and to give his life to meeting their needs. The believer is not to be above the lowly of this world. He is not to neglect, ignore, separate, criticize, or despise the lowly. He is to condescend and give himself to walking among them and helping them. He is to be friendly and kind, loving and gracious in helping to meet the needs of a desperate world.

3. The believer is not to be wise in his own conceits. He is not to have too high an opinion of himself, as though he is above and better than the lowly. Of course, many do feel above and better than others, and they choose the most foolish of things to give them superior feelings, for example, clothes.

What is it that makes people conceited, that makes them feel above or better than others? While we stir our thoughts, just note how weak and shabby these things are (and yet people base their lives upon such weak things). People feel above and better than others because of...

The list could go on and on, but note how weak a foundation each of these provides to human life. Not just any one of them, but all of them could disappear or collapse overnight. The believer is not to walk through life as a conceited fool, thinking himself above and better than other persons. He is to walk humbly, knowing that he is a man just like all other men. He is of inestimable value, yes, but of no more value than any other man—even those who have little of this world’s vanishing possessions.

Note another fact that needs to be considered. The pride of intellect or fancied superiority is probably the worst pride there is. It is more insidious and more injurious than any other pride. It leads to a contempt of the opinions of others and an extreme reliance on self (Col. 1:18; 3 John 9).

The attitude which the gospel requires is that of a little child: simple, trusting, and humble (Proverbs 3:7; Isaiah 5:21; Romans 11:25).

It was Nelson who, after one of his great victories, sent back a despatch in which he gave us the reason for it: "I had the happiness to command a band of brothers." It is a band of brothers that any Christian Church should be. Leighton once wrote: "The mode of Church government is unconstrained; but peace and concord, kindness and good will are indispensable." When strife enters into any Christian society, the hope of doing any good work is gone.

(12:17) Believer, Life and Walk: the believer is to live above reproach in the sight of all men. Two behaviors in particular are mentioned.

1. The believer is not to react; he is not to return evil for evil to anyone. In the world and in the course of behavior between men, everyone is mistreated and reacted against at one time or another. Therefore, the believer suffers evil and mistreatment just as everyone else does—just in the course of behavior as a man. However, the genuine believer also suffers evil and mistreatment because he is a follower of Jesus Christ. As a follower of Christ...

· the believer is living a life of righteousness and purity, honesty and truthfulness; and such behavior is often opposed by the world. Therefore, the worldly person often opposes and abuses the believer.

· the believer is bearing testimony to the corruption of the world and to man’s need to escape the corruption by turning to Jesus Christ and His righteousness. Again, the worldly person often opposes the message of Jesus Christ and His righteousness.

The point is this: the believer is not to react against a person who mistreats and does evil against him. There are at least two reasons why he is not to react.

a. Reaction will most likely lose the friendship of the person and lose all hope of ever reaching the person for Jesus Christ. The evil doer will be able to say, "A Christian did that to me." The believer will have made Christ an unappealing Savior. On the other hand, if the believer returns good for evil, he opens the door for eventual friendship and bears testimony to the love of God for all men, even for those who do evil.

b. Reaction is not the way of God or of Christ.

2. The believer is to demonstrate good behavior in the sight of all men. The word "provide" (pronooumenoi) means to think before acting. The idea is this: when someone does evil against the believer, the believer is to think before he acts. He is to think and pray through his behavior. Why? So that he can respond in the right and proper way. The believer needs to do what is right and noble, and the only way to do it is to think the situation through.

Note another point, a critical point. Scripture clearly tells the believer why he is to respond this way: so that his honest and noble response is seen by men. In essence, the believer is to love by turning the other cheek to the evil doer in "the sight of all men." A strong testimony of God’s love will then be seen by men.

We have always to remember that the standards by which the world judges a man are not necessarily the standards by which God judges him. Saintliness has nothing to do with rank, or wealth, or birth. Dr James Black in his own vivid way described a scene in an early Christian congregation. A notable convert has been made, and the great man comes to his first Church service. He enters the room where the service is being held. The Christian leader points to a place. "Will you sit there please?" "But," says the man, "I cannot sit there, for that would be to sit beside my slave." "Will you sit there please?" repeats the leader. "But," says the man, "surely not beside my slave." "Will you sit there please?" repeats the leader once again. And the man at last crosses the room, sits beside his slave, and gives him the kiss of peace. That is what Christianity did; and that is what it alone could do in the Roman Empire. The Church was the only place where master and slave sat side by side. It is still the place where all earthly distinctions are gone, for with God there is no respect of persons.

(12:18) Peace—Brotherhood—War—Divisiveness: the believer is to live at peace with all men. However, peace is not always possible. There are two qualifications.

Ž If it is possible, the believer is to live at peace with all men. However, it is not always possible. Some persons are troublemakers: grumblers, complainers, dissenters, splitters, fighters, ego-hunters, self-centered leaders, image-seekers, power-builders, warmongers. Some persons have no interest in living at peace with the believer.

Ž As much as possible, the believer is to live at peace with all men. The believer is to work for as much peace as possible. Some level of harmony and concord can be achieved at least some of the time. The believer is never to give up, not as long as there is hope for some degree of peace. He is to achieve as much peace as possible. However remember, peace is not always possible—not with everyone.

Now note two significant points that need to be carefully considered and thought through by every believer.

1. The cause of conflict must not arise from a believer. He is to try everything possible to bring about peace and to keep peace (Romans 12:20; cp. Matthew 5:39-41). However, this may be impossible because of the wickedness of others or because the control of peace is not within his hands. It is possible that some will not live peaceably. They continue to indulge every whim and live a life of repugnant license. Such living often threatens the peace and security, preservation and life of oneself and family and friends.

2. What is it that determines whether a believer is to turn the "other cheek" or to defend himself? For example, Jesus spent His life combating evil and wrong, and He did not always turn the other cheek (John 18:22-23); neither did Paul (Acts 23:2-3). Paul encouraged the believer not to give license to anyone, and he was strict in the command. For example, he said that if a man did not work because of laziness, he should not eat (2 Thes. 3:7, 10).

The governing principle for the believer is clear: "be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). There are times when an attacker, if allowed to continue in his attack, is encouraged in his evil nature of indulgence and license. If allowed to continue, his evil overcomes the believer—either within through bitterness and revenge, or without through domination. Thus, a believer is not to sacrifice truth in order to preserve peace. Evil is not to be allowed to overcome truth.

(12:19-21) Vengeance—Revenge—Retaliation: the believer is to give no place to revenge. There are three reasons for this charge.

1. Vengeance belongs to God. Note the words, "Dearly beloved." The exhortation is definitely directed to believers. It would be a wonderful thing if all men practiced and lived by this rule, but the world never has and never will live free of vengeance. However, the beloved of God are given no choice. Any person who follows God is to leave vengeance up to God. Vengeance belongs to God, not to man. No man has the right to judge others, not in a private judgment nor in a personal vengeance. The right to judge and to execute vengeance is God’s and God’s alone. However, Scripture is clear: God will repay—God will execute vengeance. The day of His wrath is coming and it will be inescapable.

2. Treating an enemy with kindness will affect him greatly. By doing good the believer heaps "coals of fire" on his enemy’s head. This means at least two things.

a. Kindness will shame and cause anguish for an enemy. In his lonely moments, his thoughts will focus upon his evil treatment of believers and cause him to think and wonder about God. There is some chance the enemy might repent and be converted.

b. Kindness will store up wrath against the evil doer in the day of judgment. If an evil doer represses his thoughts of God and hardens himself more and more and continues in his wicked treatment of God’s people, then he stores up more and more wrath against himself in the terrible day of judgment.

3. Vengeance makes evil victorious. If the believer takes vengeance, then he allows evil to conquer him, and this he must never do. The believer is to conquer evil, never allowing evil to conquer him. Note how he conquers evil: by doing good. He overcomes evil by doing what he should do, in particular by doing good toward those who mistreat and abuse him.

In the last analysis no human being has a right to judge any other; only God can do that. Vengeance may break his spirit; but kindness will break his heart. "If we are kind to our enemies," says Paul, "it will heap coals of fire on their heads." That means, not that it will store up further punishment for them, but that it will move them to burning shame. If hatred is met with more hatred it is only increased; but if it is met with love, an antidote for the poison is found. As Booker Washington said: "I will not allow any man to make me lower myself by hating him." The only real way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.