What is your purpose in life? What is GOD’S purpose in your life? Are you the man you want to be? Are you the man that GOD

expects you to be?

 

If you are a man you have asked yourself these questions many times before. It is amazing how

different your answer can be when we include GOD in the question.

 

The Men’s Ministry of the Parkway church of Christ was established with the sole purpose of

enriching the lives of men and seeking to glorify God in every facet of our lives. Our Men’s Ministry

program targets the three major facets of a man’s life:

 

1. A man’s relationship with God. Developing a deeper spiritual understanding of God and

His will in your life.

 

2. A man’s relationship with himself. Developing a deeper understanding of yourself and

who you really are.

 

3. A man’s relationship with others. Developing a deeper understanding of your relationships with others in your life.

 

 

Getting Men, Especially Fathers, Involved in Spiritual Transformation

Conviction #1: It’s about getting dads involved: Why reaching fathers should be a primary focus

of a men’s ministry.

 

Why focus on dads specifically? Certainly a case could be made for the strategic value of reaching many

different affinity groups when it comes to men’s ministry: young singles, older singles, dads who are

married, dads who aren’t married, dadswith children, dads with no children, young dads, seasoned dads,

grandfathers, great-grandfathers, those divorced with children, those divorced without children—this list

is almost endless.

The fact is all of these men need to be invited into and engaged in a relationship with

God through Christ as they move toward spiritual transformation. Men’s Ministry

Remodeled: A Solid Plan for Leading Dads™ will certainly help you in reaching all

these audiences, fathers and non-fathers. It is important, however, to start by making

the case to all those who care about men’s ministry for why targeting fathers with

intentionality must be a priority.

 

• You will address the most consequential and damaging social trend in our

country—father absence.

• Programming focused on prevention is wiser than intervention alone.

• Fathers are the gateway to reaching families.

• Helping fathers be good parents is a strategic use of your organization’s time in reaching children.

• All men need the qualities it takes to be a good dad.

 

Conviction #2: It’s about spiritual transformation: Why implementing a year-long,

life-change and maturity process must be the goal, not a brief program or one-time event.

• What is not transformed is transmitted.

• Change comes from the inside out.

• Making an eternal difference is the best kind of difference to make.

• Spiritual transformation can be difficult to measure; however, you can describe and assess it.

 

Conviction #3: It’s about following without compromise a remodeling process: slow, small and solid ministry for the long haul.

• Step 1: Make Prayer Foundational (months 1-12)

• Step 2: Select and Move Forward with Quality Leaders (months 1-3)

• Step 3: Kick Things Off with a Series of Men’s Breakfasts or a Retreat (months 3-7)

• Step 4: Start or Add Small Groups (months 4-10)

• Step 5: Add Systems of Accountability (months 10-12)

 

REAL ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED

1. You will address the most consequential and damaging social trend in our country. It was anthropologist Margaret Meade who said

“The supreme test of any civilization is whether it can socialize men by teaching them to be fathers.” Consider the truth expressed in that

statement for a moment because it has serious implications for church ministry and priorities. If you were to line up every social issue you

could think of—such as poverty, our growing number of prisons, domestic abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, poor performance

in schools—the research shows that there is one issue that has a relationship to all of them: father absence. One example that shows this

relationship clearly is the statistic that 80% of rapists with anger problems come from father-absent homes. Father absence, in this instance

then, is rightly understood as a primary factor that contributes to violent crime. This same relationship between father absence and a host

of other social issues is well documented; albeit, often ignored. Is helping boys and men prepare to become or be better dads really a supreme

test of civilization? “Social scientists across the political spectrum tell us that father absence is a stronger predictor of criminal behavior than

family income, education, or . . . race. And while some youngsters can manage life without a father reasonably well in many cases, few are

able to come unscathed through fatherless communities.” The church, of all institutions, should be on the front lines of civilization changing

fatherless communities into fathered ones, connecting lost hearts that often bear the wounds of earthly fathers with the healing and transforming

grace of the Heavenly Father. Do you want the efforts of your church to contribute directly to reducing crime, poverty, childhood obesity, the

spread of STD’s and teen pregnancy, child abuse, illiteracy, etc.? Then commit for life to intentionally reaching out to and strengthening dads

and providing father-figures for the fatherless. It is part of “true religion:” “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans [the fatherless] and widows in their distress” (James 1:27).

 

2. Preventative programming is a wiser strategy than intervention alone. The church has long had a history and legacy of reaching out to

the broken and outcasts of society. It is amazing to see how many hospitals and rehabilitation centers have been started by churches or caring

Christians. The Salvation Army, for example, has a rich heritage of intervention, reaching those whose lives have been ravaged by the effects

of sin. They reach out with “a heart toward God and a hand toward man” to rescue folks who have fallen off the cliff of life. William and

Catherine Booth, founders of the Salvation Army, were known for reaching out with “soup, soap and salvation.” Our society desperately needs

these kinds of ministries; however, even wise leadership in this organization has recently seen the need to integrate preventative programming

and efforts into the stellar intervention that they are so well  known for (think of their response to hurricane Katrina). We can and certainly

should help folks who are falling or have fallen off the cliff. But how much wiser it is to build a fence back away from the edge, to keep many from

ever getting close to the edge, thus keeping them from falling off in the first place. Reaching existing or future dads is this kind of preventative

effort and is a very wise stewardship of your ministry’s focus and attention.

 

3. Fathers are often the gateway to reaching and strengthening women, children and families. Colonel Donald Canning, Assistant Chief Secretary

for Family Development for the Southern Territory of the Salvation Army, likes to say, “Win the father, win the family!” Both in the biblical record (Acts

10:16) and in modern times this adage rings true. Robbie Low, a vicar in England, expands on this same thought: “No father—no family—no faith.

Winning and keeping men is essential to the community of faith and vital to the work of all mothers and the future salvation of our children.” In fact,

embracing the task of reaching fathers wholeheartedly is one of the best ways to serve our nation’s women—especially moms. One of the hardest jobs

in America is to be a single mom. Although many moms that find themselves in this situation make heroic efforts, successfully raising great children,

this situation is clearly not an ideal. The research shows that together, mom and dad make the best parenting team, even though they parent differently.

Mothers, for example, tend to be more verbal while fathers tend to be more physical in their interactions with their children. Mothers tend to be more

nurturing while fathers tend to push their children to achieve. Of course, these are generalizations supported by research—the fact is men and women

vary in their individual parenting styles. But it is these differences that complement each other, giving a child the best of both worlds, so to speak.

Consider using NFI posters as simple visual reminders in the décor of your organization of how important dads are. As your organization becomes

more father-friendly, dads will be more likely to become involved in and stay connected to your community of faith.

4. Helping fathers be good parents is a strategic use of your organization’s time in reaching children. Youth ministry in a local church is very

important. At a time in our nation’s history where there is a breakdown of the family unit, it becomes important for the church to support parents in

their responsibility of raising healthy kids who love God. Again, many churches have youth programming and rightly so. Few churches, however,

demonstrate this same commitment to providing programming and support for parents and specifically fathers. A youth program at your church, for

example, might reach a kid who regularly attends events with 40 hours of influence a year. This same child’s parent(s) have 3000-4000 hours per

year to influence this child. Having stated his case this way, he then asked, “So what is the best way to reach and help children and teens?”

The clear answer is to provide intentional and supportive programming for parents. Christian organizations, then, should strategically provide help,

classes, etc. for parents (with a particular emphasis on fathers) to support them in their responsibility of raising their children. This emphasis on

fathers is critical since they are far less likely than mothers to have the requisite parenting skills and knowledge needed to effectively raise their

children. In a survey of 701 American men, only slightly more than half of the fathers “agreed” and less than a fourth “strongly agreed” that they

felt adequately prepared for fatherhood when they first became fathers and 53% “agreed” that fathers are replaceable by mothers while 57%

“agreed” that fathers are replaceable by other men.5 Moreover, your church can fulfill a great need in your community by increasing the

opportunities for fathers to learn proper fathering skills. Again, the take—away here is not to discourage or discontinue youth ministry efforts but

to challenge all those who care about God’s church to a greater commitment in providing support and training for parents, especially fathers.

5. All men need the qualities it takes to be a good dad. Some churches seem to shy away from fatherhood programming or other efforts

to reach dads. The thinking is usually that they need something that is appropriate for all men, singles and dads (grand-fathers included), or that

they’re afraid to offer gender-based programming. Besides the afore-mentioned wisdom in targeting dads, all men need the qualities it takes to be

a good dad. Here is a parallel illustration to help solidify this thinking in your mind. Gene Getz wrote a little book in the late 1970s called

The Measure of a Man. It is now a men’s ministry classic, having sold well over a million copies. In it he looks at the qualifications of an elder

in 1 Timothy 3:1-7. His case is this: An elder must have these attitudes and behaviors for the well-being of the church; however, all men should

strive to have these same qualities to be godly men. His point is simple yet profound. A similar line of reasoning can be made for using fatherhood

 programming in ministry to all men. Like the elders in 1 Timothy 3:1-7, fathers must have certain attitudes and behaviors for the well-being of

children; however, all men are served well in pursuing these same qualities to be healthy men.

 

These five reasons have defended well, an approach that makes reaching fathers a primary focus of your men’s ministry. This is conviction number

one: get dads involved. But the question, then, becomes: “Get them involved in what?” Basketball, playing cards, a small group program, a church

soft-ball league, reading a book? No! (Although any of these things can be used in the process.) It is about getting them involved in spiritual

transformation. There is no higher goal.

 

Description, Outline and Overview

Humility - Seeing ourselves as needing help (Proverbs 6:16, 17; James 4:6).

 

Enthusiasm - A devotion to and passion for God’s stuff like solid biblical teaching,

fellowship (biblical community), regular participation is the Lord’s Supper and

prayer (Acts 2:42-47).

 

Accountability - A willingness to be in accountable relationships (Proverbs 27:6, 17),

including submission to the reflective biblical leadership of a local church

(Hebrews 10:24-25; 13:17).

 

Love - Great and supernatural love as described in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a.

 

Thankfulness - A grateful heart (Ephesians 5:4b, 19-20: Colossians 3:15-16) that connects

all of life’sgifts with a Loving Creator (James 1:17, Malachi 1:2a, 6a).

 

Honesty - Being real with God (Proverbs 12:22) and people (James 5:16); this also includes a

commitment to biblical patterns of truth-telling (Ephesians 4:25) and resolving conflict

(Matthew 18:15-17).